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父母“谎言”的背后
FMT-  shelly 2016-03-18 09:34:47 发表于  [  影视娱乐  ]
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父母从小教育我们做人要诚实,也许我们从没想过有一天谎话会从他们的口中说出。也许他们会说自己只是有点小小的不舒服,但其实是害怕医院复杂的检查;也许他们会说自己过得还不错,但在天冷的时候连暖气都舍不得开;也许他们又会说自己不想成为子女的负担,但内心却渴望多看孩子几眼。这种有时候甚至是自我矛盾的话,其实是为了让我们去洞悉他们为人长者的内心——当父母垂垂老矣,我们需要的也许是比他们更了解他们自己。


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Sometimes, there’s a reason behind it.

1. Im broke.[1]

A Facebook friend complained how her in-laws cried poverty when she asked them to pay for their grandkids’ camp last summer and then announced at Thanksgiving that they just booked a cruise[2] to Alaska. “They have money for that,” she wrote irately[3], “but not to help their own grandchildren!” She oozed indignation,[4] which is probably why the grandparents lied about being broke in the first place.

1. 我没钱。broke: 穷的,没钱的。
2. cruise: 乘船游览。
3. irately: 愤怒地。
4. ooze: 显示出,表现出;indignation: 愤怒,愤慨。

It’s their money. This is their retirement. They worked hard for years and years and how they spend their money is their choice. It doesn’t mean that they don’t hope their grandkids have a great summer. It just means they have always wanted to see Alaska and now they are finally able to.

Whether it’s a request to bail the kids out of credit card debt, to help out with college or take over a car payment, few people make it through retirement without being asked to help fix a family member’s financial problems.[5] As a result, some retirees “dial down the dialogue on their true wealth in order to politely fend off family members who struggle to manag their own finances,”[6] wrote Forbes ever-so-nicely. Put more bluntly[7]: They lie. They lie because if retirement isn’t the time to put yourself first, when exactly is that time?

5. 无论是帮孩子还信用卡、支付大学费用,还是帮孩子花钱买车,基本上每个人在退休后都经历过这样的事——在家人的请求下帮助他们解决经济问题。bail: 帮助某人摆脱困境,下句的help out有相同的意思。

6. retiree: 退休的人;dial down:减少;fend off: 避开。

7. put more bluntly: 更坦率地讲

2. Im doing fine.

About 36 percent of Americans have nothing saved for retirement. They will rely on Social Security[8] to live; 47 percent of single seniors say that 90 percent of their income comes from Social Security. Living on Social Security, with its average payment of $1,335 a month, can hardly be described as “doing fine.” People say this when they don’t want you to worry about them. Maybe somebody should be worrying. Pride can be a dangerous thing. Seniors have been known to cut their medications in half to make them stretch longer or not turn on the heat to save money.[9]

8. Social Security: 社会保障,社会保险。
9. 众所周知,很多老人会少吃一半的药,使用药时间维持更久,或者他们不开暖气,以此来省下钱。medication:药物,药物治疗。


3. Im so busy.

Most adult children want to believe that their parents are living active, happy and fulfilling[10] lives. They want to believe that until they want them to babysit. Then they want them to be available at the drop of a hat[11]. Grandkids can sometimes be a handful[12]. Most grandparents are happy to help out with the kids, but no one likes being taken for granted[13]. It’s a fine line and both sides need to be mindful of crossing it.[14]

11. at the drop of a hat: 随时,立刻。
12. handful: 难以控制的人(尤指孩子)。
13. take for granted: 认为……理所当然。
14. 这里存在一条微妙的界限,双方都要小心不要越界。fine:细微的;be mindful of: 注意,留心。

If it’s any consolation, researchers from the Women’s Health Aging Project in Australia found that postmenopausal women who spend one day a week caring for their grandchildren have a lower risk of developing Alzheimer’s and other cognitive disorders.[15] However, the study found, those who spend five days a week or more caring for little ones have a higher risk of developing neurodegenerative disorders[16]. 


Just know that when you hear “I’m so busy,” it might have more to do with stepping on Lego pieces than playing Mah Jongg.[17]

15. consolation: 安慰,慰藉;postmenopausal:绝经后的;Alzheimer: 阿尔茨海默病,俗称老年痴呆症;cognitive disorder: 认知障碍。
16. neurodegenerative disorder: 神经退行性疾病,是大脑和脊髓的细胞神经元丧失的疾病状态,主要分为运动功能障碍和记忆与认知功能障碍两种。
17. Lego: 乐高玩具;Mah Jongg: 或拼为Mahjong,麻将。



FMT -  shelly 2021-06-20 18:41:59 重新编辑

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