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小心在细节处拉低了你的托福写作分数
Maeva 2016-10-14 18:26:07 发表于  [  公开课  ]
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  对于目标是托福写作高分的考生们,细节是不可忽略的一环,要小心在细节处拉低了你的托福写作分数,下面整理了一些会拉低托福写作分数的细节,供大家参考。

  1. 用词不当

  原:The absence of groupwork is a disaster for teenagers in modern society.

  改:The absence of teamwork is a disaster for teenagers in modern society.

  评:groupwork是“分组”或者“小组集体任务”的意思。这位同学原本想说teamwork“团队合作”,却用了一个看起来很像,但实际完全不同的词,表达出来的意思就风马牛不相及了。

  原:You will be dangerous if you keep moving without a clear view of the whole picture.

  改:You will be in danger if you keep moving without a clear view of the whole picture.

  评:dangerous表示所修饰的对象是“带来危险的,有危险性的”,而be in danger才是“身处险境”的意思。到底谁才是威胁呢?

  原:Firstly, the job, providing the opportunity for students to utilize what they learned in class, might effect their further development.

  改:Firstly, the job, providing the opportunity for students to utilize what they learned in class, might affect their further development.

  评:模样长得像,意思可不同了。这里想用动词affect表示“影响”,却误写为名词effect“效果”,一字千里啊!

  2. 搭配错误

  原:Nowadays, people are crazy pursuing to be excellent.

  改:Nowadays, people are crazy about excellence.

  评:这位考生显然记错了be crazy about sth. 这个用法,写出来的句子自然会出问题。

  原:Besides, public speech can effectively increase your communication skills, which facilitate your salesman career.

  改:Besides, public speech can effectively improve your communication skills, which facilitate your salesman career.

  评:此处是一个明显的动宾搭配错误。“提高……技巧”应该是improve the skills,而不是increase the skills.

  3.词性错位

  原:I will forget my sad and pressure from the work and the study.

  改:I will forget my sadness and pressure from work and study.

  评:sad是形容词,而这里明显需要一个名词,应该是sadness。

  原:Although making money is a priority for most people, spending time with the family is equal significant.

  改:…, spending time with the family is equally significant.

  评:形容词significant前需要用副词来修饰,所以equal应该改成equally。

  4. 时态混乱

  原:Although I have no work experience when I was a teenager, I always dreamed about having a job.

  改:Although I had no work experience when I was a teenager, I always dreamed about having a job.

  评:过去时的句子中冒出了现在时,太粗心了,要仔细检查。

  原:I would explain my view in the following paragraphs.

  改:I’d like to explain… / I will explain…

  评:可能是两种说法记混了吧,结果把时态搞错了……

  5. 主谓不一致

  原:The way we deal with the environmental problems are crucial to the prosperity of human-being.

  改:The way we deal with the environmental problems is crucial to the prosperity of human-being.

  评:谓语之前有两个名词时,主谓搭配的问题就常常出现了。这里真正的主语应该是单数名词the way,所以与之搭配的谓语也应该是单数的is。

  6. 重复累赘

  原:From my point of view, I think this argument is quite limited since many other ways can also help learning a foreign country.

  改:From my point of view, this argument is quite limited since many other ways can also help us learn a foreign country.

  评:from my point of view和I think重复,保留一个就好。当然这里建议留下更“高级”的from my point of view.

  原:There are the majority of people who deem that they like to spend money on things which can bring them long memory.

  改:Majority of the people like to spend money on things that can be memorized for long.

  评:中文句式说的“有很多人……”,但别一看到“有”就非要用there be句型不可,直接摆出主谓宾就行了。

  “things that can be memorized for long”,被动语态明显更地道

  7. 中式英语

  原:Thus, one is easier to draw bosses’ attention and gain appreciation.

  改:Thus, it’s easier for you to draw bosses’ attention and gain appreciation.

  评:中文习惯说“人们可以更容易地吸引老板的注意力”,而英语则习惯说“It’s easier for sb. to…”同学们要注意中英表述习惯的区别!

Maeva 2022-01-19 20:07:21 重新编辑

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